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Rule #1: Don’t Ever Drive the Millennium Falcon Drunk

Star Wars, LucasFilm, Disney

Life must be hard in a Galaxy Far, Far Away. The daily grind can get tedious in deep space, and when you throw in bounty hunters, political disputes, gun running, smuggling, and evading the Empire into the mix, life must be really hard. You would think that having a Jedi and the Rebellion would be enough to stop a cocky, hot-shot pilot from attempting to drive the Millennium Falcon drunk, but it seems that it isn’t.

After a hard day zooming around the galaxy, all a smuggler needs is a frosty beverage at the nearest cantina and the keys to a ship that can make the Kessel Run in under 12 Parsecs. Unfortunately for Chewy, and the structural integrity of the Millennium Falcon, Han Solo will not be swayed from heading out after a few drinks.

Star Wars, LucasFilm, Disney
A view from inside the cockpit of the Millennium Falcon from ‘Star Wars’. Image: Disney, LucasFilm

So What Did You Learn?

The golden rule to take from here, is to not try to fly a starship after having some of Moxie’s concoctions at the local cantina. Don’t be a Nerf Herder. Pass off the keys. In a wonderful mashup from OneMinuteGalactica, we get a short taste of an 1980’s styled Star Wars PSA about drunk driving in a Galaxy Far, Far Away.

Check out the clip below:

Is this enough to stop young Jedi and aspiring Rebellion fighter pilots from cruising the galaxy under the influence of alcohol, I think not. Too bad the Star Wars universe doesn’t have their own version of Uber. With a drinking and flying problem such as this, an affordable interplanetary cab service would come in handy. This might be exactly why droids have some control in an X-Wing Fighter.

This is a hilarious thought to have, but I can see Han looking back at Luke Skywalker and saying, “Relax, Kid, I got this,” as only the boldest pilot in the galaxy could.

Brad Repka
I am an avid lover of all things Movies, TV, Games, and delicious other randomness. Thanks for reading, and feel free to leave comment!