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‘Baywatch’ Reboot: Is This the New Standard of Hollywood Crap?

Baywatch

Pursuing the online movie websites, I came across an article on the reboot of the iconic cult TV series Baywatch.  The stars of the show weren’t talking about the script, if there was one. Nor was co-star Alexandra Daddario complaining that the Dwayne Johnson’s chest is bigger than hers (Watch True Detective SSN 1). Instead, Bollywood icon Priyanka Chopra and cast-mates tried to assuage fans fears that the reboot wasn’t too crass.  Yes, really.

The Story of the ‘Hoff

For those of you unaware, the TV series Baywatch ran  from 1989 until 199. It starred and made stars of David Hasselhoff, Pam Anderson, Yasmine Bleeth and several other top-heavy actresses. Though it ran for 242 episodes, it never will be remembered for anything more  than..

Running and, for young boys, hoping. To further underline the serious nature of the TV series, most of the actresses appearing on the show would either go on the pose in Playboy or had already done so. Two who never did, Alexandra Paul and Yasmine Bleeth, were living on their fifteen minutes of fame. Bleeth would keep her clothes on but Paul would heed the siren call of direct to  video B movies of the late 90s and early 2000s.

So, if there is any standards the film adaptation has to live up to, they aren’t very high. Yet, somehow, it still gives the old college try. Film co-star Alexandra Daddario had this to say to the Hollywood Reporter:

“Yes, it’s an R-rated comedy, but hey, it’s about time we saw a good penis in a movie!”

‘No Nudity’ Clause Strikes Again

Yes, instead of making an hour and a half slice of film entertainment, the filmmakers, apparently on star Dwayne Johnson’s prompting, decided to appeal to the lowest common denominator. As the New York Times‘ review notes:

You will, however, witness some rude and suggestive sight gags and an extended sequence in a morgue involving the genitals of a dead man. Those bits, and the energetic profanity in the script (written by Damian Shannon and Mark Swift), represent cosmetic alterations intended to secure an R rating, at the moment a mark of credibility in the world of big-screen comedy. Make no mistake, though: The project’s essential network prime-time DNA remains intact. Like its source material, “Baywatch” is sleazy and wholesome, silly and earnest, dumb as a box of sand and slyly self-aware. It’s soft-serve ice cream. Crinkle-cut fries. A hot car and a skin rash. Tacky and phony and nasty and also kind of fun.

Baywatch
Baywatch Studio Publicity

Baywatch is currently in theaters worldwide.

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