‘The Bachelor’ and ‘The Bachelorette’: Dealing With Rejection

Shows like The Bachelor and The Bachelorette have captured the hearts of men and women all around the world. Viewers watch people fall in love, get rejected, and wonder who will be the lucky person to win. Reality shows relate to dreams of getting the ‘white picket fence’ and living ‘happily ever after.’

On last season’s The Bachelor, Ben told both finalists that he loved them. Typically in the show, saying the phrase ‘I love you’ meant that this was the winner. When he told both finalist this, everyone lost their minds. When JoJo ended up losing, and Ben stated that Lauren was his ‘true love’.

Tonight, we sit and watch JoJo’s trip. She is the star of this season’s The Bachelorette. She is down to the last four gentlemen fighting for her undying love. The episode ends as a distraught JoJo is unable to decide who to send home. When she goes on the four dates with the potential suitors, she gives no inkling about who is losing the good fight. JoJo allows each of them to profess their love for her, knowing that soon she will send one home.

What is really at stake here? Contestants bare their souls to the world in hopes of finding true love, but when they are rejected it is public. They are left to pick up the pieces on their own. You can tell by watching the reunion episodes, that every one of the discarded contestants feel a mixed bag of negative feelings towards each other and sometimes the show.

Rejection is one of the worst situations that one can deal with, physically and emotionally. It can devastate one’s entire life, cause them to review their career paths, and even lead to periods of extreme depression. These rejections mold our pasts and our futures. They conjure feeling of overwhelming anger, blaming, and feelings of inadequacy. This is something we experienced with Jubilee’s rejection.

In her final episode she states, “I must be the most unlovable person on earth.”

The Reality of Reality TV

These Reality TV rejections aren’t just involving the television shows The Bachelor and The Bachelorette.  The scope of dealing with public rejection is high when you look at Reality TV. According to the New York Post, there have been 21 reality contestant suicides since 2004. There are no shows that are safe. From shows like Kitchen Nightmares to The Bachelor, most shows have seen their share of rejection death.

Is this high rate of suicide due to the rejection that people face in front of a national audience? It is sad and alarming. This could be the result of a bad screening process when deciding contestants for the show. According to Jesse Csincsak, the fourth-season winner of The Bachelorette, these pressures and struggles can drive some people over the edge:

“I think people don’t realize the repercussions when they sign up. They didn’t sign up to be portrayed as the bully or the slut or the drunk or whatever,but they were, because that creates ratings, and ratings equal dollars.”

The Fallout

The true reasons for these deaths can be attributed to many factors. But it is hard to deny that a public rejection in front of a national audience didn’t have a part to play. So, what is there to do? You should all question your mental stability when considering submitting to one of these programs. You should account for the possibility of rejection, and whether you are ready to take that if/when it comes.

Not only do contestants find that their reputations are often damaged upon leaving the programs, but they also have issues in the future, from the fallout of the details that surface during the shows airing. If these are all factors that you feel confident that you can overcome, send in your application, but if there is any doubt in you mind you might want to stay away.

Reality programs like The Bachelor and The Bachelorette thrive on the ideals of ‘finding true love’, but these shows have a dark side. People caught on the losing side of these contests are often racked with personal loss, depression, and the fall out of a very public rejection. The jury is out on how much good shows like these do. You can guarantee women and men all over the country will tune in next week to see if JoJo will find true love. Unfortunately, she (and the nation) will forget about the men she rejected to get there.

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